OtP Presents The London Closing Ceremonies "Live"

I had the weirdest dream last night...

I don't know if you saw the Opening Ceremony, though its likely if you are here you did, but outside of a North Korean Mass Game, that was a prime example of what a shared hallucination would look like.

50% Homer Simpson Halftime show, 50% leak of Scarecrow fear gas.

Anyway, I liked it, or at least I think I did, as predicted I was pretty hammered and didn't even make it to the Parade of Nations sober.

What I do recall is NBC's talking heads deserve a visit to the Tower of London for a lesson about knowing when to speak and when to as the locals might say  "shut your gob."

I Live By The River!

Has it been 2 years already?

Time for the London Games, time plus 2 days actually if you want to count soccer. Which two years ago I didn't care for but now I just love. Something must have happened, brain damage likely.

I'm off soon to watch the OCs and get drunk. The goal is to be hammered old-world style before Croatia comes out. Seeing how there are always more A countries then you think there are, odds are good.

I'm going to try and keep this blog up again for another 26 days, good luck to me (and i guess to all the people who've been working towards this their ENTIRE lives too I guess.)

I'm on Twitter now too @seth410 , lots of stuff there, I'm sure.

Closing Ceremonies, Live

:02 The drummers are back and now they look like Chinese Power Rangers...oy I'm dating myself, is that even still on?

:03 Someone is lowering a big wheel of cheese into the arena....

:05 Burning Man is going to break out here any second

:09 I see a lot of those anti-red eye camera flashes going off in the crowd, I'm not sure they are going to work that great.

:15 I love how all the athletes come in together like this...if anything it won't take as long.

:34 The Marathon winners are then followed by a parade of more of the Chinese's elite team of tiny stunt-cuties. Adorable. They are the perfect weapon.

:42 Oh they are not playing fair if they don't turn that flag-blower on for the Greek flag...ok, nevermind.

:43 No translation subtitles NBC? This event happened almost 12 hours ago, c'mon!

:55 That is some impressive flag-folding. Hey black colored fireworks, cool.

:56 The London Mayor is rocking some classic British teeth.

1:05 I think the Austin Powers movies have ruined the idea of British citizens dancing thing for me

1:06 Oooo! The bus is transforming....c'mon Giant Robot!!!!...eh it's some pop star, who wants to bet no one can remember her name by the time the London games come around...And Jimmy Page is miming the guitar live!

1:19 IIIIINNNNNNNDDYYYYY, THE TORCH IS GOING OUT!!!

1:24 I'm getting a real ant-hill vibe off of this tower, and it's kinda creeping me out.

1:31 Pre-fab pop groups are decadent! Lip-syncing is counter-revolutionary!

1:45 WHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Up With People! Hey, it's Jackie Chan! And he's singing! Let's see Chuck Norris do that!

1:51 I think they undid all of their 'progress' on air-pollution with those fireworks.

2:01 Hey it's that one 3 Tenor who's not Pavarotti or that other guy.

2:37 Montages.....if you want memories of the games, look below.

2:28 Mao is looking over Bob Costas' shoulder, if there is a better metaphor for China's realtionship with the media, I don't know it.


Well, that's the end of the 2008 Olympics, and while I'm more then a bit sad to see them go, we're not quite done yet here at Off The Podium. Stay tuned for some last little bits, then it's...the future.

Live Bogging the Opening Ceremonies

(From NBC's tape delayed presentation of the Opening Ceremony)

6:30pm CT: I love these poetic openings, and everyone’s in such great shape, that’s it, time to diet!

:04 Arg! 20 minutes to go before they even start?

:05 Oh! A commercial! I’m gonna go get some pretzels.

:14 Tom Brokaw, brought to you tonight by the Chinese Chamber of Commerce.

:15 There appears to be a giant blue Rice Krispie square across from the main Stadium…and it has lasers.

:21 Oh, it’s the “National Aquatics Center” aka “The Cube.” So I was half right.

:22 Kobe and LeBron, you know I’ve complained in the past that football (that’s football-football, not soccer-football) has never been included, but at least we don’t have to hear about Farve’s mid life crisis for 16 more days.

:27 This is on tape and still NBC can’t get back from commercials on time.

:31 Looks like LED strobes coming off those drums, hope no epileptics are watching…2,008 people counting down in unison like that using the light from the drums, pretty cool.

:41 I wasn’t going to comment on the ads, but come on, do you think any of the athletes actually eat at McDonalds? Maybe the shot putters.

:43 Ahhhhh! Rainbow Brites attack!

:46 Look at that little girl, the Chinese have perfected Cute Technology, our missile shield is useless against it! Although with the marching soldiers thing, they need work on their subtly subsystems.

:52 Calligraphy? Would it be insensitive to ask for a little Kung Fu? …although, where do I get some of those crayon socks? And that 250 foot long LED screen…football season is coming.

:56 That painting? If it shows up on eBay, someone’s getting gulag-ed

01:00 And now, the philosophy…of DANCE!

01:01 Look at all those letters, and that’s just a standard size keyboard in China.

01:06 Those blocks…are made out of people! PEOPLE!

01:12 This boat thing is making me urpy…shouldn’t of had those pretzels.

01:23 No sighing of General Tso so far…must be chicken.

01:30 Tai Chi! Ok we’re getting close to breaking boards with our faces now.

01:35 This is like those movies where there’s a hidden fortress full of people doing ninja training. Ninjas would be cool, China had ninjas, right? Pirates at least?

01:42 Time for a song, jeeze, 8 months of prep and they couldn't get this guy to tuck in his shirt?

01:50 Parade of Nations time! Get Comfy! Wow, no alphabetical order in China? How to they line up to go to the bathroom?

01:56 The world Tae Kwan Do champ is from Mali? Neat.

02:02 Are those Chinese girls going to dance in place for 200+ nations?

02:26 Cool, they have everyone walking through what looks like a rainbow of powered ink, and trailing it onto that “eBay” painting I mentioned earlier.

02:39 I know this isn’t Project Runway, but the dresses on the Hungarian women are bad, really bad. Like ”Monty Python in drag” bad.

03:00 Yep, those dancing girls are still going. FEEL THE BURN! Heh, I just noticed they all have water bottles attached to their belts, that’s thoughtful.

03:06 WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! TEAM USA!!!!!!!!!!!!

03:18 The Dutch are again rocking the orange. Classic.

03:24 Kiribati? Are they just making counties up now?

03:36 The Swedish women look great in their teal Chinese dresses. Just thought I’d point that out.

03:59 China comes out, and the dancing girls get the fifth wind as the end nears.

04:06 Speech time! And evocative or not, that’s some nice marching. Hey, they have fans or something fluttering those flags…is that cheating?

04:20 Torch time! Whoa, some wire work. He’s running around the upper ring of the stadium, and it’s like he’s walking on air, a neat effect. And it’s lit, that was really cool.

11:04pm CT and it’s all over. Bedtime, woman’s volleyball starts in a couple hours :D .